By Sandy, February 1996
For years, my husband and I believed that we were alone inour love for that rather kinky fetish few people ever discuss.
However, when a feature on the subject appears in a magazine, it is usually a sellout.
Some call it watersports, some, golden showers, others prefer to not to know about them at all and avoid the subject altogether.
During the first few years of a person's life, the act of passing body waste is an involuntary and natural act.
As a toddler we do not associate the passing of urine as a sexual experience.
However, we do, most certainly, find that it is pleasurable.
Touching is also associated with pleasure.
Our genital areas are sensitive and we are, most certainly, aware that touching and the sensations associated with urination are undoubtedly our first sexual experiences.
Later in our childhood, the act of urination is associated with something that is coverted, hidden and somehow "naughty".
We are probably aware that touching ourselves is associated with embarrassing diversions by our parents.
If we have wet our pants or soiled ourselves, we are led away and changed before we are noticed.
In our early teens, we develop a real sexual awareness and all the ingredients are present to ensure a close association between sex, and that other embarrassing subject, wetting ourselves.
We are not always aware of this connection.
I know as a teenager, I was not.
I knew that it was naughty to wet my bed, and I have an early recollection of wetting my bed on purpose and actually enjoying the sensation.
Wetting my panties as a teenager in our garden among the hedges and shrubs on a hot summer weekend also brought a shiver of excitement and a delightful sort of guilt.
I also masturbated in my teenage years and I always associated wetting my knickers with playing with myself.
By the time that I met Joel I had had several boyfriends and I had also been introduced to sex.
I was always careful not to allow my boyfriends know my secret.
After completing my education and getting a job I shared a flat with a collage friend.
I had to be very careful to protect my sexual fetish from my flatmate.
After a year, my friend got engaged and moved in with her boyfriend.
I was left to fully pursue my sexual fantasies.
I discovered that I wanted to be incontinent.
I needed some excuse to wet myself.
I discovered an enormous turn on was to be found by wearing clothes that could not be easily removed, like a one piece teddy with panties underneath, or an aerobic suit under a skirt.
I bought one piece body shapers and corselettes, although I didn't need them.
They were tight and impossible to remove when I visited the loo.
Wearing a disposable nappy and wetting it in a public place, with people around, in a lift or a cinema queue, was and still is, an enormous turn on.
I do not have adult baby characteristics, I am just an adult with a sexual fetish who associates sex with being wet between the legs.
My bed was made up with a waterproof sheet and at night, I experimented with nappies and waterproof pants.
I relived that childhood bedwetting experience whenever I liked.
The mornings were best.
Sleeping in a tight teddy over cotton panties.
Waking up bursting for a pee.
I would think back to my childhood days, happy,carefree.
I remembered walking home from school one day, it was the beginning of winter and there was a chill in the air.
I needed to pee.
The cold air made it worse, I was bursting.
Desperately, I surveyed my surroundings.
The pavement was lined with a thick hedge, its leaves turning winter shades of yellow and orange.
I stopped now and then to feel the texture of a softening leaf and at the same time allow a little trickle to soak into my thick school pants.
The temptation to just let go was almost irresistible.
Lying in bed, on my back, my hand crept down between my legs.
I could feel a small damp patch starting as I resisted the temptation to let go completely.
I remembered continuing my walk home from school, deciding to wet myself as soon as I had found a suitable hiding place.
The hedge came to an end and a small substation building stood blocking my way, behind it provided the perfect place.
I checked in all directions and then made my way behind the small building.
I started relaxing as I walked and felt that lovely naughty feeling mixed with excitement as the pressure gathered.
Returning to reality and my bed.
It was too late to try and stop.
The feeling was wonderful.
My mind reeled back to that Autumn day as the trickle started.
I felt the warmth as the wetness spread and the stream become stronger, spreading and filling the double thickness of my green cotton school pants.
A hissing noise started and I could feel that delicious tickling feeling as the crotch of my panties billowed with the pressure.
I opened my legs a little and felt the stream start down one leg.
In bed and in reality, the feeling was different.
My tight stretch cotton panties and my white teddy kept my sexy parts tightly closed and the pee tickled as it forced its way through my sensitive labia into the absorbent layers.
The feeling was heavenly and I heard myself groan with delight.
I felt the warm wetness spreading around the cheeks of my bum I wondered if anything could feel so good.
I used a cupped hand and pressed my crotch at the source of the stream deep beneath the layers of soaking fabric to stem the flow and prolong the ecstasy.
I felt myself climbing towards orgasm.
I had to force my mind to return to that crisp day and my naughty walk home.
A steady stream poured down from between my legs.
All hope of stopping was lost.
I had lost control completely.
I bent over and lifted my short skirt.
I dark wet patch was spreading, turning the green to black.
The stream splashed onto the dry leaves and grass between my feet and splattered my school shoes and socks.
In bed the wet warmth was rapidly spreading as I arched my back in response to the overpowering urge to bare down and increase the pressure of the flow.
My fingers explored a hot river surging through the layers of fabric and my fingernail probed my clitoris.
I was lost in a turbulent world of ecstasy.
I became aware of the sound of a long and breathless groan.
Pictures flashed through my mind.
I saw myself standing by the roadside in my school uniform,deliberately wetting myself.
Other flashes of erotic scenes, always connected with wetting myself passed through my mind.
I lost track of time, emersed in a powerful orgasm which, finally subsided leaving me weak and breathless.
Sometime later, I became aware that my bedding and underwear was saturated.
Unconcerned, I allowed my mind to drift.
I wondered if other people enjoyed self indulging sex games and if they enjoyed them as much I did.
I felt lucky that I was so turned on, by such a simple, although wet, deviation.
I was smug with my secret, feeling almost sympathetic for those who did not indulge in such damp diversions.
Empowered, perhaps, but where did it all begin?
My mind slipped easily back to my youth.
Where did my wonderful fetish start?
I was sure that I knew.
It was during those happy, carefree childhood days, growing up in a large house close to the beach.
I had just turned four years old.
I was potty trained, although I remember wearing a disposable nappy at bedtime.
Strangely, I do not remember wetting myself at night, or having the slightest inclination to do so.
Daytime, however was different.
Early mornings were always a rush, mother dressing my older brother and me.
Our old maid Tina, getting the breakfast.
I was always dressed in a dress, cotton panties and sandals.
Mother fussed over me as father reversed our big black car out of the garage and then she would tell Tina to watch over me carefully.
With kisses and hugs she instructed me to be a good girl.
After the car had gone, the house was quiet.
Tina shuffled around in a methodical manner and I went out to play in the garden.
Later, Tina would find me and scold me for losing my shoes.
I had not only shed my shoes, but I had also wet myself.
It was done deliberately, I could have gone inside and used the toilet, but it just seemed so normal and convenient.
I remembered simply squatting down and watching the pee emerge through my panties and soak into the short grass.
It was as natural as a sneeze.
I was quite happy to remain in my soggy state all day and usually did, unless I had to be changed to go out.
Sometimes Tina changed me into my swimming costume for the beach and on discovering my wet panties, made quiet disapproving comments and shook her head.
She never suggested a change unless it was for the beach.
The summer days were long and sunny.
Tina would sit on a bench with a friend and chat, I played happily in the sand.
It was accepted that I would pee in my costume and I did, frequently.
Occasionally I was joined by other children who also freely wet their costumes.
I thought nothing of it.
On windy days, we went to a park.
I played on the swings or the slide in my little dress.
I remember sitting at the top of the slide and watching two trails of pee chasing each other down the slide.
I made no effort to hide the fact that I was doing a piss.
As the years advanced, nothing really changed, I just became more discreet.
If I was wet, I kept it a secret and it was not until the first signs of adolescence that I made a connection between the act of wetting myself and that delightfully erotic feeling called "sexual stimulation".
As the years passed boyfriends came and went.
Sex with boys was not normally on my personal agenda, simply because I was not turned on by my pursuer's normal male sexual advances.
I concentrated on my education but eventually it became apparent that I needed to find someone who could accept my strange fetish.
This, of course, happened, four years ago, in a garage workshop.
After complaining that my new car had developed a squealing sound in the rear, I drove it into the workshop for a quick inspection.
A mechanic came over and with surprising lightness and agility threw himself under the rear end.
He was wearing a blue two piece matching overall and the top crept up above his waistline.
My eyes fell on the white waistband of his underpants and for a moment, I could not believe what I was seeing.
Was the elasticised waistband plastic ?
I bent down to take a closer look.
There was no mistake.
At least two inches was visible contrasting against his brown back.
That soft plastic of really expensive waterproof pants, probably made in Switzerland or Germany.
There was no mistake, I was an expert.
I owned some just like them.
He twisted sideways and pulled up one leg, I examined his bum.
Again, there was no mistaking the puffiness of a well folded nappy.
I felt the excitement rising.
He pulled himself out from under the car and sprang to his feet.
He dusted off his legs and stood facing me.
He was shorter than I had expected, about the same height as myself, in my high heels.
His eyes were green, green, green.
He was beautiful.
I was in love.
Then suddenly I realised that I was staring at him, blushing and smiling.
I felt embarrassed, and he noticed it.
He looked down shyly, like a little boy being praised for a good school report.
When he looked up, I tried to say something but realised that he was talking.
What was he saying?
I was confused, all I could hear was my heart pumping in my ears.
My face was hot and my legs went weak.
A tickling feeling started in my most sensitive parts and I realised that I was melting.
Would I be able to stand long enough to understand what he was saying?
Then gradually, I collected myself and stammered through a basic conversation.
Before leaving the garage, I managed to find out his name.
I will not dwell on the long and complicated courtship that followed.
Any woman reading this will understand that it is not an easy task to chase a man.
Men simply do not respond well to being chased and they usually run.
The process had to be carried out with careful planning.
It took three months of careful preparation, but in the end Joel was asking me out regularly and I was being very careful not to put a foot wrong.
Eventually, Joel felt the right time had come for some serious seduction and he made his move.
He chose his flat after an evening out.
Very little time was wasted on foreplay, we gravitated, in a tight clinch, from the front door through his sparsely, but tastefully furnished lounge, down a short passage leaving articles of clothing behind us.
He was natural and spontaneous in his approach, almost primitive.
He was, and still is, extremely virile.
His lithe tanned body was firm and strong and in the dim glow from the hall light I could just see his glistening curves.
It was art made in heaven.
I was ectatic.
The climax was long and dramatic which left us both totally spent.
It gradually occurred to me that I was awake and my mind reviewed the events of the night.
Joel was breathing rhythmically in sleep beside me.
I was helplessly and desperately in love.
I was possessed by him and had to learn the details of his secret life.
My hand moved across to the edge of the mattress and I felt under the fitted sheet.
Yes, there it was.
A fitted waterproof protective cover.
I withdrew my hand when Joel stirred, he opened his eyes and smiled.
I kissed him gently on his cheek.
Later we dressed and talked.
I made tea and we listened to some music.
Finally I nervously broached the subject.
Initially, he looked puzzled and then he looked annoyed.
He refused to talk about it and finally he suggested that I leave.
Leaping from his chair, he hurriedly threw on a jacket, collected my things then silently held the door open.
In the car, I attempted to approach him.
He abruptly brushed me off.
He double parked outside the front entrance to my flat and impatiently revved the engine, signalling my queue to get out.
No goodnight kiss, not even a goodbye, he sped off into the night.
I was left on the pavement, hurt and extremely embarrassed.
I cried through the night and finally Sunday morning dawned.
Pacing, sadly about my flat, I counted the cost of being a pervert.
Why could I not just be normal.
I felt jealous of my friends who had limited, but normal, sexual turn ons.
The phone rang, it was Joel.
Please, please, I thought, don't say anything, just listen and agree to never, never, approach that fateful subject again.
As I listened to Joel's voice, quietly, hesitatingly, he began telling me every detail of his secret life I shook with uncontrollable emotion.
"As a small boy", Joel related," I was attracted to things to do with peeing.
I always wanted to wet my bed, but I had a very strict upbringing and was never allowed to.
I think that it was something to do with my toilet training.
I had brothers and sisters who teased me when I was very young...I'm sorry I treated you badly last night, but..I..I have never told anyone..ever.
But I love you, so much.
I will tell you everything, I promise."
After a moment of silence, while I blew my nose and collected my thoughts; "I tried to tell you, Joel, I tried to tell you last night that we are both turned on by the same things, that's what originally attracted me to you.
On the first day we met, I just stuffed up my approach.
It was all my fault.
I'm so sorry, but I am really excited by your call, you'll never guess what I'm doing!"
There was a few seconds silence while Joel thought about what I had just said.
"I think I can guess, what are you wearing?" Joel asked me.
"Jeans" I replied matter-of-factly.
"Are they wet ?" Joel asked in a whisper.
"Yes.. and they are getting wetter", I spluttered, " I just can't help it, I'm just so happy!"
"Are you going to change them?" He asked with a chuckle.
"No" I replied, "they feel just fine.
Oh, by the way, I think that noise has started again in my car.
Could you come around and check it out ?
Perhaps you should wear your working clothes?
"I would love to", he said softly.
"As long as you promise not to look to closely at the waistband of my underwear!"
Joel and I were married a year later.
It rained on our wedding day, we accepted that as a good omen.
Now, three years down the line, It feels like we are still on honeymoon.
We have many friends but we know nobody with whom we can share our secret.
We have many stories to tell, but we would really like to share some with other readers who are into watersports or knicker- and bedwetting.
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